


Pilot not Included

by Misanagi



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-08
Updated: 2004-10-08
Packaged: 2017-10-12 04:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misanagi/pseuds/Misanagi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A toy store can be a disturbing place. It all depends on what you are looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pilot not Included

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [](http://community.livejournal.com/gw500/profile)[**gw500**](http://community.livejournal.com/gw500/) community on LJ for challenge #42: Dolls.
> 
> Thanks to Anne for the beta.

Duo dragged me through the entire mall. He had showed up at my door at ten in the morning and said that he needed my assistance for a very special mission. I had known it was just a scheme to make me accompany him but I went anyway. I had nothing better to do.

After almost colliding with an old woman, I stopped in the middle of the hall, taking Duo's hand, and forcing him to stop too. "We've been into almost every toy store, Duo. What exactly are we looking for?"

"Q's birthday gift." He freed his hand and kept walking. I sighed and followed.

"I though you already had something for him. His birthday is tomorrow."

"Yeah," he said, and entered another toy store. "I just saw something yesterday that's perfect for him. He /needs/ to have it."

We both ignored the saleslady offering help, even though I had no idea what we were searching for. "If you saw this item yesterday, why didn't you get it?"

"Cause I only saw the ad." He never turned around to look at me, just kept walking and looking at the shelves. "They are new so I'm not sure they've hit the stores yet, but I figured it was worth a tr… Oh yes! Here it is!"

Duo turned quickly. He was proudly holding a box in his hand that said Zero Four in a metallic red font and had a bad picture of Sandrock on it.

I blinked. "This is disturbing."

"Amusing," he corrected. A loud laugh left his lips and then he tried to read to me what he had found so "amusing" about that annoying doll. "The cockpit of this model can be located in the head as well as in the chest." He snorted and shook his head, as if he couldn't believe what he was reading. "The shotels are attached to the hands and," snicker, "glow in the dark. Pilot not included."

And I had thought it couldn't be worse. I could see more boxes behind Duo but I wasn't sure I could see what they had done to Wing, or even worse, Zero. "You are going to give Quatre, /that/?"

He snickered at me. "Well it does say 'pilot not included'. If Mohamed won't go to the mountain…"

Our identities had been concealed after the war, so it wasn't surprising that the toy's manufacturers had chosen not to include a pilot. However it didn't make the whole thing any less disturbing. "I doubt Quatre is going to appreciate that gift."

"You think so?" His eyes were shining the way they do whenever he is up to something. I glared at him.

"He is going to kill you," I stated.

He smiled at me, wickedly. "Did you know that the eyes on all the models change color?"

I pushed away the idea of Wing's eyes glowing pink and glared some more. "By Monday whoever came up with the bright idea of this doll will be out of business. Quatre is very good at hostile takeovers."

Duo smile grew wider, and I understood.

"They made 'Scythe change color under hot water. I can't let an evil deed like that go unpunished. It's just wrong."

I snickered. "I thought it was amusing."

This time he glared. "Wanna know Zero's special feature?" I shook my head; he didn't care. "Do the words 'real feathery wings' mean something to you?"

Quatre can do as he pleases with the toy company; he can have his hostile takeover, run the company to the ground, or make it a shoe factory. I don't care. I'll content myself with expressing my irritation in a creative way. And I'm sure Quatre won't mind if his new acquisition is missing a building or two.


End file.
